Conundrum

What happens when you put 50 or so kids up on unicycles on a track? 

Mr O is the only one on the track with a green tire.

A unicycle Jamboree of course!

Races, compititions, good natured ribbing.

All in all a great chance for each kid to win something.

And a great way to learn good sportsmanship.

Way to go kids!!

Somehow

In the midst of all my personal emotional upheaval, my two beautiful children continue to be beautiful.  They are sweet, loving, caring, and try to do their best so that Mommy doesn't need to worry.  So, we do things like this on our way home from school.  And it helps mommy feel so much better.

And then there was...

There are so many things that I am thankful for.  The trees in my back yard.  The sunshine that is there whether it's cloudy or not.  The flowers.  Chocolate.  My amazing man.  My wonderful kids.  Four legs.  The fact that I can read and write.  But today, even though I am very thankful for all those things and so much more, I have some other emotions running through too.  Today was another day.  Very similar to any other Monday.  Got up, showered, dressed, got the kids up and dressed, made lunches, ate breakfast.  That was the end of the similarities.  I dropped the kids off at a friends house and went to my Dr appointment over at UW.  A Dr appointment that I expected to be like many of the others that I have had in the past few months.  You know, where the Dr says, well that test didn't show anything but let's try this one.  That is really what I expected. 

That isn't what happened. 

I sat reading my book for a while, since I was 20 minutes early, until I was shown into an exam room.  My Dr came in shortly after.  We went over the results from my last test (which was negative) and then he turned his chair to face mine.  Cleared his throat and said, "I'm not sure where to go from here."  He went on to say that we've done all the tests that we can without exploratory surgery, which I won't do.  All have been negative, only one has shown any kind of result and that was one that could be positive for several different things, which we have since explored and found no further evidence of anything.  So as we were winding up the conversation he told me to come back only if things changed for the better or for the worse.  I was told there was nothing else that could be done.  There is nothing else to do.  Nothing.  No more tests.  No more blood work. 

Nothing. 

Nothing.

I'm hurting.  There is no reason why.  There is no one to figure it out.  There is nothing I can do for it.  Nothing.

I am feeling dazed.  Lost.  A little angry.  A little depressed.  But mostly just dazed. 

I expected more.  I expected an answer.  I wanted an answer.  I want to know why my body is this way.  I wanted someone to put all the puzzle pieces together, find an answer, and then to tell me.

I don't want to be an anomaly any more.

Well, hello there!

As you may have guessed last week was incredibly busy for me. 

Monday: cleaned out the PTO closet at school, it took nearly the full school day it was so bad.

Tuesday: ran errands, did the grocery shopping for the birthday dinner, started baking the cake, and went to the PTO meeting from 6:30-8:30.

Wednesday: decorating the cake.

Thursday: finishing the cake, baking and decorating cupcakes for Peaches class,

and celibrating B-day a little early with some wonderful friends.

Friday (yes today): popcorn friday (in which M and I pop popcorn for each classroom in the school, usually about 250 bags of popcorn, and then we deliver to each room) and Movie night (M and I set up concessions, show a movie in the gym to whoever shows up, and then we clean up around 8pm).

So see, it's been a busy week so far.

And the Wind Blows

As the battle goes on within my body, and the drs continually trying to find an answer, I'm daily asked how I deal with it all.  Well, here's my answer. 

Firstly, I'm a Mom.  Moms don't get to quit, we don't get sick, and we are always on call.  I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything in the world.  Yes it is a tiring, quite often thankless, job.  But when it is all said and done, I love these kiddos with all of my heart, and would not ever trade one moment of this crazy up-side-down lifestyle of motherhood for anything.

Second, my life motto has always been don't bother waiting for the rain to stop, put your boots on and dance!  I tend to carry that into every aspect of my life.  No life hasn't been perfect, it never will be.  But whether or not my plan is being fulfilled, I can still choose to be happy.

Third, happiness is a choice.  Many people just don't realize that and think that when they have more they'll be happy, or when something happens they'll be happy.  Not so.  Nothing ever goes completely to plan, we just have to roll with it.  And to be happy in spite of changing plans is a choice.  Happiness is a cognative choice.  I choose to be, it is as simple as that.

Lastly, I'm so lucky (and so are you).  I have the most amazing husband and children.  We have a home, a yard, and food to eat.  We have so many luxuries that many people only dream about: shoes, beds, food, computers, school, we can walk and talk, we can read, and so much more.  We are blessed. I have so much to be thankful for it would be selfish of me to be constantly complaining about the pain that I'm in.  Yes it is there, but there are so many nice things to think about that I would rather think about good things.

So put on your rain boots and dance!

The Simple Things in Life

Chopsticks

I'm not sure when the first time is that they played the first notes. 

I'm not even sure if they were even somewhat musical. 

All I know is that I wouldn't miss little moments like this for the world.

Nothing in the world could make me want to miss this double rendition of chopsticks.

Ever.