No Calories, No Not One

Years ago, when Handsome and I had just wed, I tried to cook. Well, I failed miserably, and he saw to it that I knew that my cooking abilities needed some help. I took the good natured teasing with as much grace as I could muster, and kept trying. Now I like to think that most of the things that I cook turn out, and those that don't are still edible. Now I know that is just in my head, but I'm an optimist. There was one thing in my cooking ability that was seriously lacking. Something that defied all my attempts and just kept on failing. Cinnimon rolls. No matter what I did, they wouldn't rise, or the syrup would be all at the bottom, or they would be tough. No recipe that I tried made any difference, they still refused to cooperate. Until today. I found a new recipe, Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls 101. It worked! They turned out! Nice and fluffy, sweetness all throughout, and that glaze...MmmmHmmm! For the first time ever, I succeeded with cinnamon rolls. Now knock on wood that next time will work too.

Stones

I met a man, well boy really, years ago. He was tall, quite thin (I wanted to take him home and feed him though I knew his mother did a great job with that), had red hair, a face full of freckles, and a ready smile. When we first met, he was nice. Polite and friendly. He opened doors, said please and thank you, and even asked if he could carry my books for me a few times (I turned him down flat). Well, this boy and I became friends. Not best friends, just the type of friend that you'd go with a group to see a movie with and then laugh over stupid jokes later at DQ. Then there was a time when he stopped talking to me. I felt the world fall apart around me. I was angry and hurt for weeks. But then, I realised, he was just a friend and I was a big girl. So I went on my merry way, laughing and being my normal self. I even started dating a little by then. I found out quickly that the world of dating had no place in it for me. I was not ready for that. I was still a child, growing, not quite ready for that step. So time slipped by, almost unnoticed. The flowers bloomed and died, and the rains had come again. Then I saw him again. It felt like it had been only moments since the last goodbye. As if he had just walked around the block. And there he was, back. My good friend. We went to a dance with a group of friends, both of us with other dates. They way that he looked at me that night made me want to melt. I think that it was when I finally realised that this man was going to be a part of my life. A big part, whether I liked it or not. It took me quite a while to grow up enough to accept that. And even longer for me to say yes to him. He was patient, kind, and generous. Moonlight walks in the park, not holding hands or kissing, just walking and talking, being friends. By then he was my best friend, my confidante. When things went wrong in other areas of my life, he is the one that I turned to. And he cared. We spent countless hours on the phone. He was still patient. He moved to a different town and would wake me in the morning with a phone call. Even miles apart, the concern, and something else I couldn't name, was there. Then I was confronted with a choice. The hardest choice I had ever made in my life. I had to choose between this wonderful man and another wonderful man. Yes, I had two men in my life then (still do). I had to make the choice to give up the man who had loved me for my whole life, or the man that wanted me to be his wife. That is a choice that I wouldn't wish on anyone. That is a scar on my heart that will probably never completely heal. I made my choice and packed my bags. I left in the middle of the night. I left everything and everyone, didn't even say goodbye. I didn't know where I was going or what reception I would get. Just that my heart was bursting with joy on the one side, and mourning a terrible loss on the other. Time passed and healed the scar a little. My wonderful man and I wed without my father's blessing, but still with happiness. On that wonderful day, I looked into his green eyes and knew that here was the man who I could and would keep forever. And now here we are, living our love. He is my other half, the better half. Without him...I am empty. He just is. And I'm not sure that he knows, but I loved him from the beginning. That very first budding of friendship. He is, was, and always will be my love.

And His Name Was Jonah

Now if ya'll heard the Bible story about Jonah, you know of whom I speak (well write really). He was a prophet who was told by God to go visit a certain city. He was told to ask the people there to repent so that the wrath of God would not be visited upon them. Jonah did not want to go, so he ran from God (so he thought) and boarded a ship. Well...ya can't run from someone who sees all and knows all. So up came a storm, Jonah went overboard, and was swallowed by a whale. Three days later, after repenting, he was spit out. He then proceeded to the city to tell the inhabitants God's message. Yeah, I know, what does the story of some long-dead man have anything to do with me? Well...I had a Jonah day. A day where everything went wrong. Everything that I touched fell apart. Every task the I attempted ended in complete disarray. And to culminate it all, I was a horrible mom. I actually raised my voice to my beautiful children. It was just one of those days. Too many buttons had been pushed, too much had gone wrong, and I was done. Then, my wonderful prince, knight in shining armour, came in and rescued the scullery maid from her tears of woe. Sent her packing, actually. To a wonderfully nice hot bath. In that I soaked for two hours. Blissful. Wonderful. I love my man.

Secrets to Parenting #4

Get the heck out of the house every now and again. Yeah. That's right. Take the kids, leave the kids, it doesn't really matter. Just get out of the house. Get yourself a change of scenery. Go to the park, go for a walk, go to a friends house, just go. Everyone needs a change of scenery from time to time. So go and get it! And occasionally, leave the kids. Go out on a date at least once a month with your significant other, minus your lovely cherubs. Spend some quality time with that other person that means so much to you, but that you don't really converse with because the kids are yelling at full volume at home. Get a babysitter and go on a walk if you don't have the funds to go somewhere else. Just get out together. And another thing. Get out by yourself every now and again. No kids, no significant other, just you. You and a coffee, you and the park, you and grocery shopping. The point is, everyone needs "me" time. Time that you can devote to just worrying about yourself. Yes, I am encouraging you to be just a tiny bit selfish. Yes, to be a good parent, you need to be a tad selfish from time to time. If you don't take time for yourself, you will get more and more impatient, short tempered, and eventually everyone will just want you dead. So, take that time, go refill your well of peace, and then go back to insanity. I realize that you have the perfect kids and the perfect partner in your life, that is not the issue here. The issue is that everyone needs a change of surroundings and you need to go and get yours. Take the time to pack a picnic lunch for yourself and the kids, call a babysitter so you can go out with your partner, or leave your partner in charge and get out by yourself. It doesn't matter, so long as you get out.

My Own Gold

Finding the first few blossoms of Spring is always like finding a gold mine. It is that first faint glimmer of something good, and yet you know that there is much more to come. The building excitement, and waiting. Then suddenly there are blooms everywhere. The air smells sweet. And no one really notices when you dance around like an idiot because you're happy.

Yellow and Blue

It is a beautifully sunny day outside. One that normally would have me dancing and singing and in general making a fool of myself because I love the nice weather. But...not today. I'm a little bummed. Not too long ago I set up an Etsy shop. I posted several items and then watched as the number of people looking went up and up and up. Then I got a letter. Written very nicely, but also bringing home a good point. Right now most people are having a hard time paying bills, let alone buying beautiful hand-crafted and also slightly pricey items on Etsy. So, as the letter read on, I realized that, for the most part, people were not going to be able to afford to purchase my items. Not that they are not worth the price that I was asking (they most definitely are), it's just that I'm selling something that is an "extra." They are not necessary to everyday life (like toilet paper). So...the long and the short of it is that I knocked the prices down a bit so that (hopefully) more people will be able to purchase. Lesson learned: it is only worth what people are willing to pay.

And You Wonder Why I Like Mochas

It seems that just yesterday all I needed to do was get out of bed and go to work, take care of other people's kids for a few hours and go home. When did life get so dang complicated? Now it is: get up, get hunny up, get kids up, put dog out, kiss hunny goodbye, get kids dressed (yell at kids 5 times and then they get there 30 min later), have breakfast, make kids eat breakfast, let dog in, finish homework, tie shoes, walk to school...And that is just the first two hours of my day. Sometimes I'll mix it up and do a load of dishes or laundry in there too. And another thing that doesn't really help is that I'm the only morning person. No one else around here likes to be up before 9. It's really really difficult to be the only perpetually happy person without any reciprocation of that emotion. All it is around here is grunts and mumbles and growls. I feel like I live with a bunch of bears perpetually coming off of hibernation, minus the whole eat me for breakfast thing. Ok, I'm done with the pity party. I need to go get the kids moving towards breakfast...

Boing!

So after driving 35 min to a birthday party, running around after a giggly boy for 2 1/2 hours, and then driving 35 min home with sugar high boy...I'm never ever ever throwing a birthday party that has more than 10 people (total: kids and parents) invited. That was insane! I mean, it was great! The kids had a blast. The parents of the birthday boy threw the party at the bounce house; a gym full of those blow-up houses, slides, mazes, and obstacle courses. It was really really cool. The kids ran around, jumping, sliding, and in general having a total blast. But oh my word was it crazy! There were roughly 50 people (including parents) that attended this party. Holy Cow! It was nice in that the birthday boy wanted to share his day with all of his friends, but that was just a little too much for me. All those parents out there who throw parties like this: more power to ya! I will enjoy my little, quiet, at home, just a couple friends, flings and let the rest of ya'll do the big ones.

Secrets to Parenting #3

When you run out of patience walk away. Yes, I mean that quite literally. Sometimes things are just a little bit too much and you need to step back and remember that you can't handle it all. And that it is ok that you can't handle it all. You don't need to handle it all. Just because you walk away from your screaming child does not by any means make you a bad parent. In fact, it makes you a very good parent because you know your limit. You know that if you were to try to stop said screaming (or whatever the situation may be), you know that you would end up beating said child. So you walk away. Sometimes it's ok to let the kid(s) get away with a little bit. It allows them to learn why you usually say no. Allowing them to stretch their wings and learn for themselves helps to make them that much more independent. They need to think for themselves. They need to be able to get themselves out of tough situations later in life. Learning to deal with spilled milk when they are 3 is just a step along the road of that process. Learning that the room will not clean itself and mom is no longer in hearing range for your screaming is a good learning experience. Teaching a kid to become a self-sufficient adult is not so much ignoring your kid, it is knowing that they can handle a task even though it will stretch them a little, and then walking away. Pick something that they know how to do, like cleaning their room. They know where things go, they are the one that gets them out. Put them in there and let them know that they can't come out until it is clean enough to vacuum. Depending on the kid that can be one very messy room. My kids play for a while until they hear the vacuum, then it's clean-up with a vengeance because they don't want the vacuum to suck up their toys. And we still get the occasional scream about how unfair it is and how horrible of a mom I am for making them do it, but that is something I can ignore. I know that they are capable of the task, and I also know that if I were to step back into that room I'd probably lose it and start throwing things. So, it's the balance between what you know you can handle and what you know that you can't. When you know you can't, walk away. Your kid(s) will be just fine for the few minutes that it takes you to calm down. Take that 5 minutes, find a corner, and breathe.

Secrets to Parenting #2

Each chocolate cake for breakfast. No, not every day. But really. Every so often have a day where the kids get to run the show. Eat cake for breakfast if they want to. Have ice cream and peanut butter sandwiches. Hop on one foot around in a circle because they want to be storks. Let your kids take the day. Be open to doing things that you might not want to do. Perhaps you think that it's silly. Perhaps you don't have time. Well, I got news for ya. If you're playing with your kids, it's almost guaranteed to be silly. And, you do have time. Kids are only kids for a few short years. You can do that financial report after they go to bed. Enjoy their childhood while they are in it. Because all too soon, they're asking for the car keys and you are left sitting on your butt wondering when you're going to get to have fun with them. The time is NOW. Let your kid be the boss and tell you what to do. And here's the kicker: do it! Actually do it! Be a kid with your kid. They will remember it, and talk about it, and want to spend time with you. So get out there. Eat cake!

Science Project

I was reminded earlier today of something that I often take for granted. My Family. Yeah, they're quirky, weird, and quite often say things that I don't want to hear. But, here's the truth. I love them. Yeah, we have our differences. We fight. We argue. We hold petty grudges. But really, when it comes down to it, I still love them. So much that it hurts when they hurt. I cry with them, even when we're miles apart, and whether or not they know that I'm there with them. I am happy with them too, celebrating the wonderful things that happen to them. Now I don't mean to get all preachy or anything, but...ain't that what family is supposed to be? People that laugh, cry, and are just there for you. People who care about what happens in your day whether it's just the normal crap or something really "newsworthy." My family isn't all blood related. Some are and some aren't. But they all love me, and I love them back. Blood may be thicker than water, but love can overcome any kind of boundary. My crazy family. God bless them. Each person means so much to me. Life would be so strange without even one of them. I am so thankful that I have been so blessed to have such people in my life. Family. We love each other, quirks and all.

Secrets to Parenting #1

Do fun things. Like playing with fire. Well not really the fire, but the fire extinguisher. Handsome and I decided that it was time that the kids learned how to put out a fire. They are (unfortunately) to the age that fire holds a very significant fascination. Thankfully they do not (as of yet) know how to light a match, but that won't take too long. So, out came the extinguishers and some garden bricks and the lesson began. Firstly we learned about different kinds of fires: paper, grease, wood, etc. We also learned that there are several things capable of extinguishing flame: water, dirt, soda, and an extinguisher. So, to illustrate the lesson, Handsome lit off each kind of fire and had the kids try each kind of extinguishing method. The grease fire was fun, serving its purpose to really instill a healthy respect for flame into the kids. Trying to put it out with water didn't work, it merely splashed. Trying to extinguish it with dirt failed as well, it just caused the grease to splatter out onto every one's shoes and made the kids scream. Then out came the fire extinguisher. That worked like a charm. Poof, and that grease fire was history! The kids both really liked that. Then it was on to paper fires to really drive the lesson home about fire safety. Allowing each kids a couple turns to put out the fire with the extinguisher, and allowing Handsome lots of opportunities to light fires. So, in summation: the kids learned to first call 911, then grab the extinguisher and put out that fire! Whee! Now that is what fun parenting is about.