Vacation!

Ok. So sorry that I have been away from you for so long. Not sure that you care, but anyways...I'm back! I had a wonderful old friend from back in the day come visit for the better part of two weeks. It was FANTASTIC! It was so good to see her and visit with her and get to know her all over again. As the years have passed we've both had some life changes, and we grew a little apart just from distance and a lack of communication. Well, being around each other constantly for almost two weeks definitely solved that! It was so good! She has always been (and always will be) one of those friends that I can call at two in the morning and she'll answer her phone and talk. Just plain awesomeness! She is an amazing woman who possesses an amazing beauty. Everything she touches seems to glow with life. I am very lucky to have her to call friend. I can learn a lot from her, and hope that we are given many more years of friendship so that I have the opportunity to do that learning. She has two amazing gifts that I will mention: Love and Faith. Love for everyone and everything that crosses her path. And Faith in the basic truth that everyone has good in them, no matter how well they are able to conceal it. So there you have it. That is the woman that I know as one of my best friends.

Llamas are Mammas Too

Today is one of the very few times over that past several years that I have wished to be away from my precious children. Seriously, I can count on one hand the times that I have wished this. There are so many precious moments that I would have missed if I wasn't here. All those hugs and sticky kisses. The helping hands. The beautiful artwork that decorates most of the house. The foot and hand prints that never seem to disappear. All of those wonderful moments. I love all this, but sometimes... Sometimes I just want a day to converse with adults who see me as an adult as well, not just a mother of two beautiful children. Don't get me wrong, I would never ever trade my kids in. Ever. I would never think of trading in my job title either. I love being a mom. But the rules of society are such that I cannot be seen as smart when I have my children with me. Yes, that angers me. It appalls me. It makes me want to scream epithets at those people who voice that opinion in my direction. But, they won't listen. Because I'm a mom. Yes, I'm a mother. And it hurts me when people treat me like an idiot simply because that is what I am. My normal reply to those people: where would you be if it wasn't for your mother?

Something for Everyone

I don't miss the days of high school or the years of children free life. I don't miss the lack of responsibility or the feeling that I need to impress. I love my life, husband, kids, and dog. I do miss a couple things though. I miss the wide open spaces of wheat fields waving in the wind. Watching the fog roll in over the fields. I miss the difference of the smells of harvest dust and gravel dust and regular old dirt being kicked up from a plow. The feeling that I could run and run and run for miles and miles and not run into anything. Knowing that I was alone with the wind and the smells and my dog, 'cause there was so much nothing that I could hear everything. Listening to the whisper in the night as the breeze stole softly by bringing the sweet scent of nearly ripened wheat in through the open window. I miss the openness, the stark beauty in the nothingness. The fast sunrises and even quicker sunsets. There was so much space, the land didn't have room to waste on frivolities. There was no softness. The sunrises and sunsets were fantastic, but if you did not catch them, then you lost. None were quite the same. Each was subtly different. Here there is beauty in it's own right. The trees are all tall and beautiful. Each one growing and finding a place to reach for the sun. The smell of the blossoming trees on the breeze is intoxicating. The grass is always green, without any effort. And the flowers bloom in profusion all summer long. But the beauty here is very very different. It is soft and smooth, like velvet and silk. Slightly sophisticated. The kind of beauty that you would enjoy with a cute dress and styled hair. The beauty that I miss is the slightly rough version. The work hard, sweat hard, play hard. Sitting back and enjoying a sunset because you know you put in a full day and you earned the right to set back. The slightly gritty beauty that comes in a pair of work jeans, muddy boots, and stained shirt. I miss dirt.

Sick Day

So. After a day of many loads of laundry, the normal cleaning chores, and meal time stuff, I am finally sitting on my bed. Exhausted. Mr O caught the flu and was sick last night and most of the morning. Poor kid. I hate laundry, and I hate the smell of vomit (who doesn't?!), but my poor little guy was feeling so icky. We snuggled and read books. Snuggled and watched a couple movies. And he snuggled with big bear when he decided he wanted to take a nap (I'm not good enough to snuggle with at nap time anymore). I don't like the kids being sick, but I sure do love those snuggles! Compliments to Libbie Schille for the photo.

Chocolate Chips

I want the world to be a perfect place. I want my children to grow up in a land of freedom and love. I want the crazy idiots (ie most of the garbage rotting in the prisons and many more who have avoided capture) to spontaneously combust and rid us of their presence. But mostly, mostly I just want those who I love to be happy. I don't really care about the details. I just want them to be happy. I am a happy person, and I want everyone else to feel as good as I feel. It's fun and wonderful and exhilarating to be happy. It's amazing! That feeling that even though life can throw some serious punches your way, that it doesn't matter because the sun still shines on the other side of those clouds. That is what I remind myself on those downer days (yes I have them too). This too shall pass...The sun is still there, even though it is hidden from our view. And even on those darker days, chocolate chip cookies make everything better.