No Calories, No Not One

Years ago, when Handsome and I had just wed, I tried to cook. Well, I failed miserably, and he saw to it that I knew that my cooking abilities needed some help. I took the good natured teasing with as much grace as I could muster, and kept trying. Now I like to think that most of the things that I cook turn out, and those that don't are still edible. Now I know that is just in my head, but I'm an optimist. There was one thing in my cooking ability that was seriously lacking. Something that defied all my attempts and just kept on failing. Cinnimon rolls. No matter what I did, they wouldn't rise, or the syrup would be all at the bottom, or they would be tough. No recipe that I tried made any difference, they still refused to cooperate. Until today. I found a new recipe, Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls 101. It worked! They turned out! Nice and fluffy, sweetness all throughout, and that glaze...MmmmHmmm! For the first time ever, I succeeded with cinnamon rolls. Now knock on wood that next time will work too.

Stones

I met a man, well boy really, years ago. He was tall, quite thin (I wanted to take him home and feed him though I knew his mother did a great job with that), had red hair, a face full of freckles, and a ready smile. When we first met, he was nice. Polite and friendly. He opened doors, said please and thank you, and even asked if he could carry my books for me a few times (I turned him down flat). Well, this boy and I became friends. Not best friends, just the type of friend that you'd go with a group to see a movie with and then laugh over stupid jokes later at DQ. Then there was a time when he stopped talking to me. I felt the world fall apart around me. I was angry and hurt for weeks. But then, I realised, he was just a friend and I was a big girl. So I went on my merry way, laughing and being my normal self. I even started dating a little by then. I found out quickly that the world of dating had no place in it for me. I was not ready for that. I was still a child, growing, not quite ready for that step. So time slipped by, almost unnoticed. The flowers bloomed and died, and the rains had come again. Then I saw him again. It felt like it had been only moments since the last goodbye. As if he had just walked around the block. And there he was, back. My good friend. We went to a dance with a group of friends, both of us with other dates. They way that he looked at me that night made me want to melt. I think that it was when I finally realised that this man was going to be a part of my life. A big part, whether I liked it or not. It took me quite a while to grow up enough to accept that. And even longer for me to say yes to him. He was patient, kind, and generous. Moonlight walks in the park, not holding hands or kissing, just walking and talking, being friends. By then he was my best friend, my confidante. When things went wrong in other areas of my life, he is the one that I turned to. And he cared. We spent countless hours on the phone. He was still patient. He moved to a different town and would wake me in the morning with a phone call. Even miles apart, the concern, and something else I couldn't name, was there. Then I was confronted with a choice. The hardest choice I had ever made in my life. I had to choose between this wonderful man and another wonderful man. Yes, I had two men in my life then (still do). I had to make the choice to give up the man who had loved me for my whole life, or the man that wanted me to be his wife. That is a choice that I wouldn't wish on anyone. That is a scar on my heart that will probably never completely heal. I made my choice and packed my bags. I left in the middle of the night. I left everything and everyone, didn't even say goodbye. I didn't know where I was going or what reception I would get. Just that my heart was bursting with joy on the one side, and mourning a terrible loss on the other. Time passed and healed the scar a little. My wonderful man and I wed without my father's blessing, but still with happiness. On that wonderful day, I looked into his green eyes and knew that here was the man who I could and would keep forever. And now here we are, living our love. He is my other half, the better half. Without him...I am empty. He just is. And I'm not sure that he knows, but I loved him from the beginning. That very first budding of friendship. He is, was, and always will be my love.

And His Name Was Jonah

Now if ya'll heard the Bible story about Jonah, you know of whom I speak (well write really). He was a prophet who was told by God to go visit a certain city. He was told to ask the people there to repent so that the wrath of God would not be visited upon them. Jonah did not want to go, so he ran from God (so he thought) and boarded a ship. Well...ya can't run from someone who sees all and knows all. So up came a storm, Jonah went overboard, and was swallowed by a whale. Three days later, after repenting, he was spit out. He then proceeded to the city to tell the inhabitants God's message. Yeah, I know, what does the story of some long-dead man have anything to do with me? Well...I had a Jonah day. A day where everything went wrong. Everything that I touched fell apart. Every task the I attempted ended in complete disarray. And to culminate it all, I was a horrible mom. I actually raised my voice to my beautiful children. It was just one of those days. Too many buttons had been pushed, too much had gone wrong, and I was done. Then, my wonderful prince, knight in shining armour, came in and rescued the scullery maid from her tears of woe. Sent her packing, actually. To a wonderfully nice hot bath. In that I soaked for two hours. Blissful. Wonderful. I love my man.

Secrets to Parenting #4

Get the heck out of the house every now and again. Yeah. That's right. Take the kids, leave the kids, it doesn't really matter. Just get out of the house. Get yourself a change of scenery. Go to the park, go for a walk, go to a friends house, just go. Everyone needs a change of scenery from time to time. So go and get it! And occasionally, leave the kids. Go out on a date at least once a month with your significant other, minus your lovely cherubs. Spend some quality time with that other person that means so much to you, but that you don't really converse with because the kids are yelling at full volume at home. Get a babysitter and go on a walk if you don't have the funds to go somewhere else. Just get out together. And another thing. Get out by yourself every now and again. No kids, no significant other, just you. You and a coffee, you and the park, you and grocery shopping. The point is, everyone needs "me" time. Time that you can devote to just worrying about yourself. Yes, I am encouraging you to be just a tiny bit selfish. Yes, to be a good parent, you need to be a tad selfish from time to time. If you don't take time for yourself, you will get more and more impatient, short tempered, and eventually everyone will just want you dead. So, take that time, go refill your well of peace, and then go back to insanity. I realize that you have the perfect kids and the perfect partner in your life, that is not the issue here. The issue is that everyone needs a change of surroundings and you need to go and get yours. Take the time to pack a picnic lunch for yourself and the kids, call a babysitter so you can go out with your partner, or leave your partner in charge and get out by yourself. It doesn't matter, so long as you get out.

My Own Gold

Finding the first few blossoms of Spring is always like finding a gold mine. It is that first faint glimmer of something good, and yet you know that there is much more to come. The building excitement, and waiting. Then suddenly there are blooms everywhere. The air smells sweet. And no one really notices when you dance around like an idiot because you're happy.

Yellow and Blue

It is a beautifully sunny day outside. One that normally would have me dancing and singing and in general making a fool of myself because I love the nice weather. But...not today. I'm a little bummed. Not too long ago I set up an Etsy shop. I posted several items and then watched as the number of people looking went up and up and up. Then I got a letter. Written very nicely, but also bringing home a good point. Right now most people are having a hard time paying bills, let alone buying beautiful hand-crafted and also slightly pricey items on Etsy. So, as the letter read on, I realized that, for the most part, people were not going to be able to afford to purchase my items. Not that they are not worth the price that I was asking (they most definitely are), it's just that I'm selling something that is an "extra." They are not necessary to everyday life (like toilet paper). So...the long and the short of it is that I knocked the prices down a bit so that (hopefully) more people will be able to purchase. Lesson learned: it is only worth what people are willing to pay.

And You Wonder Why I Like Mochas

It seems that just yesterday all I needed to do was get out of bed and go to work, take care of other people's kids for a few hours and go home. When did life get so dang complicated? Now it is: get up, get hunny up, get kids up, put dog out, kiss hunny goodbye, get kids dressed (yell at kids 5 times and then they get there 30 min later), have breakfast, make kids eat breakfast, let dog in, finish homework, tie shoes, walk to school...And that is just the first two hours of my day. Sometimes I'll mix it up and do a load of dishes or laundry in there too. And another thing that doesn't really help is that I'm the only morning person. No one else around here likes to be up before 9. It's really really difficult to be the only perpetually happy person without any reciprocation of that emotion. All it is around here is grunts and mumbles and growls. I feel like I live with a bunch of bears perpetually coming off of hibernation, minus the whole eat me for breakfast thing. Ok, I'm done with the pity party. I need to go get the kids moving towards breakfast...